Yes, a serious post
Black Monday has come and gone in the NFL, once again filled with firings everyone can agree on, some nobody outside of that team’s owner could possibly understand, and keeping some that are proven failures that these owners just can’t quit. If there’s anything we’ve learned from the past 50 years, the NFL is the world’s most elaborate money laundering business; it doesn’t always need to make sense.
Right now, there are at least 5 open head coaching positions in the NFL, and a lot of fan bases are left wondering how they can do better this cycle so they don’t get back in this search any time soon. Well, I’ve compiled THE list of head coaching candidates this off-season. If your team hires one of these guys, I’d be more than willing to say they’ll be successful in the next three years.
Shockingly fired by the Miami Dolphins this off-season, Flores is a defensive guru that made his way up under Bill Belichick prior to being made a head coach by the Dolphins. With the Dolphins, he posted a 24-25 record, going over .500 the past two seasons and missing the playoffs each of those two seasons by only one game. Oh, and he was doing it with Dollar General draft picks:
Ian Rapoport @RapSheetFrom NFL Now: A behind the scenes look at why #Dolphins owner Stephen Ross fired coach Brian Flores. https://t.co/GxXvxJtLLt
Flores should be at the top of every GM’s list this offseason.
He’s only on this list because he’s apparently generating interest and he’s had more success in the NFL than anyone else on this list. Granted, that was 8 years ago, but he’s still fairly young by coaching standards and has shown time-and-time again that he’s able to adapt to his players, for better and for worse. He’s the definition of a leader of men, and always puts his players first even if he can come off as unhinged to the media. Whether he actually wants to leave Michigan is another question altogether.
The offensive coordinator of the Kansas City Chiefs, aka the best offense in the NFL for the last four years, Bieneimy comes up as a popular coaching candidate practically every offseason for those four years and it’s more than deserving. By all accounts the only reason Bieneimy isn’t currently a NFL head coach is because of the league’s resistance (racism) towards black men. Countless coordinators with less success than he have been hired and done a pretty good job, but those guys are white so they get the jobs.
Buffalo Bills offensive coordinator and play-caller that received a ton of love last year for his development of Josh Allen, Daboll is a play-caller that leans a little too much on his passing game. Without Allen, Stefon Diggs, and the rest of the playmakers on the offense, who really knows if Daboll would be getting any interviews. Regardless, he’s coached under Belichick and Nick Saban, and is at the very least an extremely fun play-designer even if Bills fans get frustrated with him.
Kevin O’Connell and Nathaniel Hackett
Two young, forgettable white guys that coach under Sean McVay and Matt LaFleur, respectively. Both are getting interviews because, you know, that’s what the NFL does. As far as I’m concerned they’re the same person.
A better candidate than the two offensive coordinators above him (both because he has no connection to Sean McVay and because he’s actually been calling plays for a few years), Kellen Moore is only under them because, again, the NFL is dumb and doesn’t recognize talent unless that talent rode the coattails of a much greater talent. I wanted Moore for my Lions last year prior to their hiring of Dan Campbell, and I really believe he’s a great option if someone wants a young play caller. He’s designed a Cowboys offense that has survived through two regimes, multiple injuries to key positions, and fucking Mike McCarthy and Jason Garrett as head coaches.
The Colts defensive coordinator, Eberflus’ name has come up repeatedly over the last few years due to his unit’s success. The Colts defense remains one of the top defenses in the league, a major reason why they are competitive year-in and year-out, and Colts fans are so disappointed every year they don’t make the playoffs.
Praised for turning around the Cowboys defense in only one year, the question has to be asked: was he really that bad in Atlanta? I mean, he went to a Super Bowl and his GM didn’t exactly give him any help in the draft. Sure, he’d be fine in a place like Chicago that desperately needs some stability and a leader in the clubhouse, but at the same time he’d be terrible for Justin Fields.
I just want the Bears to hire him because this would be absolute chaos in the best possible way.