In David Cronenberg’s Dead Ringers, twin gynecologists Beverly and Elliot Mantle are at the top of their field: known around the world for their technological advancements and ability to (successfully) conduct operations no one else would dare attempt, the twins have the world in their grasp. Respect, money, awards, drugs, women; these two have and share everything. On the surface, they are one-in-the-same. At home, they couldn’t be more different; they’re a brain split at birth between cynicism and empathy into two separate vessels.
Like most of Papa Cronenberg’s filmography, the film tackles issues of identity, good vs evil, and what it means to be human. In it, Cronenberg posits that identical twins don’t really exist; they’re mythological figures coming from the concept that humans cannot possibly fathom two things looking exactly alike but acting so different.
I’d like to expand that concept and apply it to football teams.
Specifically, I’d like to apply it to Michigan and Georgia.
The bacon, egg, and cheese of the Big Ten and the chicken biscuit of the SEC. Two teams on opposite journeys, one forever on the upswing of the college football world and the other in a perpetual state of disappointment. Two teams who on paper are remarkably similar, yet in reality could not be more different.
Georgia, who hasn’t won a national title since 1980, did everything they could to grab and maintain the #1-seed throughout the regular season. One of the greatest defenses of all-time, spearheaded by Jordan Davis and Nakobe Dean, two players who can only be described as Monstar’s who somehow absorbed every single NFL Hall of Fame defender. Jordan Davis specifically, who is basically the half-bred offspring of Galactus.
Georgia, whose fan base did the thing bereft fan bases should never do, fumbled the bag. Hard. Their best team in school history was embarrassed on national television in the SEC Championship Game. Instead of being the ultimate Kirby Smart/”Old Man Yelling at Cloud” football team consisting of a stifling defense and an offense that does just enough, they showed themselves to just be plain, old Georgia. The team that can never get it done.
Michigan, who hasn’t won a national title since 1997, came into the season fully expecting to fire Jim Harbaugh at the end of it, after asking him to take a paycut last offseason following a two-win year. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and collecting his final check from his alma mater, Harbaugh did the unthinkable: he asked for help.
His brother John recommended Mike MacDonald, a budding position coach on his staff with the Ravens, as Michigan’s new defensive coordinator. Needless to say, it worked; EDGEs Aidan Hutchinson and David Ojabo thrived under his guidance, as did safety Daxton Hill and a slew of others. A loss to Michigan State midway through the season left them undeterred, and beat their chief rival Ohio State for the first time in a decade on their way to their first Big Ten Championship. The team that could never get it done.
On the surface, these teams are practically the same. It’s been acknowledged time and time again. They both have rah-rah coaches, the ones who act like the ultimate alpha because they’re physically incapable of reading social cues that people are laughing at them, not with them. That’s a good thing; they’re ridiculous human beings (if we can truly call them that) whose only job in life could be college football coach, but they both have the respect of their players and assistants and aren’t outwardly cruel to them like some.
Both teams, more than probably any other set in the country, are built to win upfront. They will not throw the ball if they don’t have to. Michigan threw it under 20 times in six games this season, including their win over Ohio State; Georgia had seven such games. Each team has two or three guys they are more than comfortable handing it off to. In Michigan’s case though, the running back room is a Megazord that when fully intact leaves nothing standing in its wake.
Both defenses are extremely stout and each had exactly one bad game this season, both against teams playing in NY6 bowls. That’s insane. Neither team could shut down a Heisman candidate, but really, who could blame them? Special talents lose to special talents all the time; sports are weird.
As we learned at the top, things aren’t always what they seem.
Jim Harbaugh has shown throughout his career to be an innovator and consistently play to the strengths of his talent (my fingers are revolting against me as I type this.) We saw him run his prototypical, gap-scheme run game at Stanford, composed of standard I & offset I-formations. With Colin Kaepernick at quarterback with the San Francisco 49ers, he evolved and moved back into the pistol and incorporated more of an option run-game (with gap schemes of course) that led them to the Super Bowl. When he returned to college at Michigan, he brought back the under-center run game, with power pistol formations sprinkled in.
Mostly though, his quarterbacks at Michigan have been statues, incapable of moving any further than the hitch they took when throwing deep. A couple years ago though, he hired Josh Gattis to run his offense. Since Gattis has been in Ann Arbor, the Wolverines have sprinkled in options, quarterbacks sweeps and powers, and even Wildcat, first bringing in Dylan McCaffery and now JJ McCarthy to take those reps. They still run their regular offense, but these adjustments and tendency breakers show that Harbaugh is more than willing to evolve, something his reflection hasn’t demonstrated.
Unlike Harbaugh, Kirby Smart is a defensive-minded head coach, so maybe it’s not fair to be blaming him for this, but if Harbaugh is more than willing to get better on his opposite side of the ball, Kirby should too.
I’m of course talking about Kirby Smart’s ability to regress his quarterbacks to the mean.
Oh what, you didn’t see? Since 2016, the year Kirby Smart took over, five quarterbacks have completed more than 20 passes at Georgia. Jacob Eason, the one with the worst rating of the five, was forced out of the starting role by Jake Fromm and transferred to Washington. Justin Fields, the quarterback with the best rating of the five, was forced out by Jake Fromm and transferred to Ohio State. The other three have had QBRs between 156-168, or practically negligible, despite one of them being a 5-star recruit, one being a 2-star, and one being Jake Fromm.
Yes, that fact above is cherry-picked. Sure, I’m only bringing this up because the man had no idea what to do with Justin Fields, arguably the most talented quarterback to ever step into the Georgia quarterbacks room, but doesn’t that make my point?
That inability to adapt and evolve is what separates these two teams. It shows that two teams, practically the same in every way, are not identical, cannot be identical. Each team is wholly themselves, and in being that presents what is quite possibly the best college football game this season.
Who’s going to win? Fuck if I know.
Let me know who you got in the comments below, or message me on Twitter @B1GOPE