I'm Tired
I was born a month and a half after terrorists Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 15 people (including themselves) at Columbine High School.
I was 13 when terrorist Adam Lanza killed 26 people at Sandy Hook Elementary school.
I was 18 when terrorist Nikolas Cruz killed 17 in Parkland, Florida.
I’m 22 and on Tuesday, November 30th, it happened again. Terrorist Ethan Crumbley opened fire at Oxford High School in Southeastern Michigan between class periods, killing four and injuring seven others, including a teacher. Students and staff did everything right; they remembered their active shooter protocols, barricaded the doors to the point the terrorist Ethan Crumbley is believed to have been in the hallway the entire time, and they phoned in hundreds of times to the police. Their prompt actions ensured the safety of everyone in the building.
The terrorist Ethan Crumbley was quickly arrested after giving himself up when police deputies arrived, but his work was done. He was successful. He caused terror and panic in his school, robbed four families of their children, traumatized an entire community, and inspired copycats. Over the next three days, over 500 schools were threatened and forced to shut down for at least a day, including at least 60 in the Metro Detroit Area. Today, a high school exactly one mile away cancelled classes because of a threat. Mission accomplished.
Outside of copycats and punks who might just want to have the day off from school, the following days also led to the typical discourse: liberals and conservatives arguing about gun control in the country, the motives of the terrorist Ethan Crumbley, and the roles his parents played in the shooting. In a week, no one’s going to remember. It’ll stay in the national spotlight until another tragedy strikes, or until a dog rides a horse. It’s almost Christmas, maybe the dearth of mall santas will take over.
I’m so sick of it.
I’m sick of seeing people my age die needless deaths. Children who have their entire lives in front of them, who are left traumatized forever by their friends dying in front of them; those who have to live every day in fear that it might be their last. Kids traumatized that their school might be the site of their death, that they might never see their parents or their friends in the other room again.
I grew up post-Columbine, so the world has never been different for me. Death has been all I know. I spent hours in school going through lockdown drills in case of an active shooter. These were significantly more prevalent than fire drills or natural disaster drills.
I’m tired, man. I’m so tired. I’ve been writing this for almost 7 hours now trying to put the perfect words in order and man, I don’t know how else I can say this. I’m tired. I’m upset. I can’t handle more kids dying. Do I need to come up with gun laws? Fuck it, I’m coming up with gun laws.
No guns.
Okay, that was actually kind of easy. Huh, I wonder what’s taking so long then?
I remember, no one cares. Not a single person outside of the communities affected actually care. The national media doesn’t care, politicians outside of Michigan don’t care (most of them in the state don’t), and the public at large certainly doesn’t care. For the most part that’s fine, you have more pressing concerns to take care of. You’re a busy person, you’ve got way more important things than four dead kids halfway across the country.
At least until, you know, it comes to you. Until someone you know dies, or the school next to you is bombed, or some other heinous act is committed that you can’t ignore any longer. That’s what these things do. Gun violence is a malignant, aggressive tumor that seeks to destroy everything if its not cut out quick enough. It’ll just keep growing and eventually affect everyone in the country.
And now for something completely different
On Thursday, December 2nd, the Michigan football team announced they would be wearing patches during the Big Ten Championship honoring the victims of the shooting. It received the usual praise before the game, but took on a life of its own after Michigan would record 42 points in the game, the number worn by Oxford football player and shooting victim Tate Myre. Since then, they have announced they will keep the patch on for their appearance in the College Football Playoff.
On Friday, December 3rd, the Detroit Lions announced they would be wearing helmet decals, t-shirts, and hats on the sideline to honor the victims. They responded by winning their first game of the season on a last second touchdown catch by Amon-Ra St. Brown, called here by Lions radio announcer Dan Miller:
After the win, Lions head coach Dan Campbell dedicated the game ball to the Oxford community and proceeded to name every victim in the shooting:
None of this really means anything. Four kids died. Communities around the country have to live in fear that their children might not come home from school. That one of the places that is supposed to be safe simply isn’t anymore.
I think they’re kind of cool though, and a display of everything right in sports.